If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
