A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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