life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
