u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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