Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
