I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm getting married
To pizza
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