so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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