Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
