I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
