no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize