Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
