The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
