Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
