just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
