It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
