Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
