one might say we're banned from that church
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
