At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
