my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
