Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Randomize
