dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
