how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
