Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
