i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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