Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
