Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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