How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
