Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
