the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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