the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
