Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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