Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
