I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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