Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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