Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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