ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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