plz talk dirty to me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
