dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
