It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
