i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize