Just fell off a train. Bad.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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