dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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