My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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