I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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