this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
