so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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