I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
