I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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