U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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