4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
