he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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