Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
