We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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