Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
