he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize