did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
