its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
