He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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