This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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