are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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