The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I AM VODKA MAN
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
